The holidays are coming, and Ross introduces the guys to his new roommate, Marcel the monkey. Meanwhile, Chandler proposes a no-date New Year’s Eve, about which no one is really enthusiastic. In the middle of her “suicidal” performance (apt enough, as twelve of thirteen songs are about her mother’s suicide), Phoebe notices two guys, Max and David, whose talking is disrupting her singing. It turns out they were discussing Phoebe’s attractiveness and David thinks she is particularly cute, which is enough for her to start dating him.
Phoebe wants to bring David to the New Year’s party at Monica’s, but the guys find it annoying, as this will break the no-date promise. Ironically, Chandler is the first to break the pact by inviting Janice. After talking it out with him, Phoebe gets David to kiss her. Eventually, what with Rachel’s Paolo catching an earlier flight, Monica inviting Fun Bobby, and Joey hooking up with Sandy, Ross is the only one without a date for the Dick Clark festivity. Max interrupts the group with news–he and David have gotten the grant, full expenses paid, for research in Minsk for three years–and the departure date is January 1. However, David is not sure whether to go because of Phoebe, and when he asks her to decide for him, she makes him stay.
At the party, almost everyone is with their dates, but plans are not nearly as good as expected: Joey’s date has brought her two children, so that he couldn’t kiss her without them watching, and then she ends up with Max; Janice continually exhibits the features that made Chandler dump her in the first place; Rachel’s Paolo misses his flight and Rachel is beaten up by a woman; following his grandfather’s very recent death, Fun Bobby is far from fun; and Ross brings Marcel but the monkey ditches him. Just as Phoebe’s night promises to be a good one, Max reveals to David how despite David’s decision to stay, he’s still going to Minsk. Broken-heartedly, Phoebe tells David she believes he belongs in Minsk, and he’ll have to go to fulfill his career. David doesn’t know how to break up with her, so she has to teach him that, too. David does, however, promise her that he won’t forget her, and that he loves her. Phoebe replies that she will miss him.
The friends find themselves keeping the promise they all strove hard to break–each is alone at the start of the new year. Nobody is in the mood to kiss anyone, but Chandler is moaning that he has no one to kiss and Joey kisses him to shut him up.
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